Crying In the Shadows of the Jungle

Lessons from a plant medicine dieta in Peru — a journey into the depths of the darkness.

When will YOU start to get uncomfortable so you can discover all the magical gifts waiting for you on the other side of all your fears?

Back in October, I went offline for 2 weeks and spent 10 days living in an open-air hut (a.k.a. “a tambo”), most of the time in silence and alone, in the middle of nowhere in the Peruvian Amazon jungle for a traditional “dieta”with the healing master plants.

This was my second dieta. I plan to go once a year for as long as I can…it’s that incredible.

There’s nothing as healing and beautiful as the jungle, the deep cleanse and insights you get from these incredible plants and 10 days in peace and quiet, nowhere near any technology, lights, cars, or anything. Never even see airplanes in the sky.

Words can’t quite describe how beautiful, profound and deeply healing and “enlightening” the experience is. I’m beyond grateful to be able to go to the jungle.

Besides drinking the hallucinogenic brew of Chacruna and Ayahuasca vine (a.k.a. “Ayahuasca”), you diet other incredible healing plants. Daily, I drank a tea made of Bobinsana, Renaquilla and Clavo Huasca. My friend nicknamed this “Goddess Blend”.  🙂

But on this dieta in October 2017, I won’t lie…my 10 days there were REALLY DAMN HARD!

(My last dieta in 2016 was beautiful, loving, warm, fuzzy, and so on.  So was my 2018 plant medicine dieta!)

Don’t get me wrong…this one was amazing too.  But so much darkness and my shadows surfaced. So much stress of life. So much going on in the months leading up to the dieta.

When I got there, my mind was literally driving me mad. I felt I was having a true mental “breakdown” of sorts. I was being shown the darkest death and destruction, of myself and the planet…

Not only all the darkness in me came to surface, but ALL the darkness in the world, humanity, the state of the planet, everyone, everything… i.e., the whole entire collective shadow.

If you remember back, it was a crazy time on earth… we had that major solar eclipse over America, Trump was in office, fires were destroying California, Hurricanes destroying Puerto Rico, on the brink of war with North Korea, and so on. Let’s just say, sh*t was intense.

Add to my journey into in shadows and the darkness of the world, poisonous snakes, fuzzy tarantulas, gazillions of bugs, super dark nights, the effects of full and new moons, astrological effects (Saturn was in my sign of Sagittarius, but leaving 1.5 months later), mysterious noises, and sleeping in a hut no walls.

Uh, yeah….as you can imagine, all of this was really hard to sit with.

I cried. I worried. I avoided. I felt like dying. I tried to control my visions, to shut down the darkness. I wanted to quit. I wanted to give up. I wanted things to feel better, to feel good, I was done feeling all the pain, and really sick of crying.

But I knew there was a good reason all of the darkness showed up.

I knew I had to get uncomfortable, and sit with the pain. I had take an honest look at all my darkness, all my and life’s shadows and see it crystal clear in order to transform and transmute it by shining lots of light on it.

I know this was a sort of “initiation”… I like to think of it as my “dark period”, an initiation to learn how to BE with the darkness.

You can’t shine light on shadows by running away from it. You need to face it. You need to develop and practice equanimity — that is where liberation is found.

“Darkness is merely the absence of light, and fear is merely the absence of love. If we want to be rid of fear, we cannot fight it but must replace it with love.”  —  Marianne Williamson

Those incredible 10 days reminded me how much we try to avoid pain and our darkness so much. We want to sit with happy things, not painful things… trust me, I knowwww! I’m usually a super happy person!!

And I know you probably often stick to what’s most comfortable, what feels good, and is easy.

I was once like that, too. Sticking to comfortable and easy, like..

….Staying at a job you hate.

….Living in a place that doesn’t make you happy.

….Sticking it out in love-less relationships.

….Pushing your dreams aside — following them feels too challenging and “unrealistic”

….Avoiding making changes because you fear the unknown.

….Afraid you will not have enough money, time, etc. Afraid of “losing it all”.

You stay in stagnation because overcoming your fears and getting past challenges just feels too uncomfortable, painful, and unpredictable.

So you stay comfortable. And years go by….years.

But deep inside, you feel your spirit yearning for more, and hear an inner voice waking you up to what your heart wants, to what your spirit desires and to live your true purpose in life.

But here’s the secret … stepping into your uncomfortable feelings, facing your shadows, and looking straight into the eyes of fear while moving forward is WHERE ALL THE MAGIC HAPPENS.

It is important to get out of your comfort zone if you want to live out your true purpose, follow your heart, and finally start having the happiness, career, love, finances, freedom, and LIFE you truly want.

I’m so thankful for spending time in the jungle seeing the darkness, facing fears, and getting uncomfortable because I’m already feeling so much beautiful magic on the other side of it all!!

YOU can live a life of magic, too.

When will you stop staying stuck, stop your stagnation and start getting uncomfortable to get the wonderful magical gifts waiting for you on the other side of your fears?

Face your fears. Sit with your shadows. Develop and practice equanimity. Integrate and accept darkness and shadows, which is how you can shed light on them. This is the work we all need to do to transform the collective shadow and ultimately create a new earth based on Love, not fear, war, hate and greed.

As a spiritual business coach, Beth Weinstein helps current and aspiring entrepreneurs align with their purpose, grow their business and make great money doing work they love, on their own terms, from anywhere on earth.  

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